Christmas in syd!

Finally some christmas mood at queen victoria building . Christmas tree decorated with swarovski crystals.

Christmas log cake!

Finally i get to eat a log cake. Next year is a good year!

Love food

What the bf cooked. Yum!

its ALL happening now...

going to shift into the city... - i'm happy happy... starting shifting bits to the new place ..even though my place is an absolute mess still.. don't understand why do i have so many things still.. *laughs*..its really amazing..how much junk i can accumulate through the years..but oh well... what can i say.. *laughs*

happy for my hols,

happy for my new place ,

nervous for my results...

(5 tell -tale signs) you know its summer when...

1. there's no longer need to look for your jacket when you get out of the apartment doors
2. there's no need to look for heated places
3. the sun wakes up @ 4.30am and shuts @ 7pm
4. the ice-cream you just bought melts twice as fast before you have a chance to savour it
5. the MOST important. ... you perspire the moment you step out of a shower..

geez... i can think of more reasons for summer..that's when all my fats come out to play..hopefully will lose some of the weight during moving of the house..but will see. *laughs*

*nervous for results*... but *happy* that christmas is coming..how ironic.....

Prices increase

Normal supply chain increase. This was taken outside the uni cafe. Ha ha. Time to look for additional income. Wonder where. Ha ha!

*anxious*

Exam is this Tues....still @ chapter 2 out of 4 units. Not too sure how I'm going to fare.

This is probably what I'm paying for not studying the whole semester (3 months).. due to studying for the Supp and concentrating on work.

Perfect example of putting in 101% effort but not getting anywhere in either studies / work. but its alright..it'll be all good in the end... stay positive and have faith...



Went to church this morning, so rejuvenated.

A new piece of good news, just realised my good friend in NZ who just got married in Oct 08 is now pregnant with a bub. so its going to be good.. *happy for her*...

Can't wait to shift to city (Spring Hill)...that'll be good...

*contented and happy*

At last, @ peace with myself.



Yesterday heard some good news that my fellow graduate (started same time as me) has been promoted to senior. Good on him! Think he deserves it and he's really really smart.

Anyway, higher role means more responsibility and I'm happy that he is already prepared to go up to senior. Well, typically it takes 0.5 years more to be given more time to "prepare" us for the task like planning and completion of a job, and I'm also happy to be given at least another 0.5 yrs to familiarise myself before i start aiming for higher levels. Hopefully its within reach.

*laughs* was talking to Michelle yesterday (my housemate)... so confusing.. but we're toying with the idea of taking a short break to either Sabah (to visit Ching and WK) whose wedding we're too busy to attend or to just head to Singapore for a short break..... tempting tempting... however will only be able to let her know when i get my results for this subject that i'm taking the exam this Tuesday.... *crossing my fingers*

studies..going really really slow......haha

alright..short update is done... back to books.

Memories.....

Michelle (friend's sister) is heading back to Singapore today after her exams.

Kind of thought back to what I felt before. Carefree, meeting up with friends + family (Miss them heaps)...

Think I'm not alone here to think that I have yet to be 100% adjusted yet. Talked to Han + Jess yesterday and Happy that they have got their citizenship, yet when they asked me would I? I said "no".

Singapore will ultimately be my home and my country where I belong. *laughs* sounds rather patriotic actually. *laughs* Though my mentor mentioned that she has forgotten how CNY is back in Vietnam (her home country is vietnam) after being here for 12 years, I'd really wouldn't that happen to me, though I reckon its kind of going to be like that....

On a happier note, I've just realised that I've been taken off one of the biggest job in the firm and thus reduce the need to stay late. Wonder if I should feel elated (no OT) or sad (performance might be no good which is why I got taken off)....... anyway, reckon I can do a LOT more exercises then.. WOOHOO! will be pretty much heading in the GoodLife Health clubs in the city much more.

Will update more on my new place @ Spring Hill which is around 15 mins WALK from either the office or to Queen Street (Brisbane City)... happy, excited, and never more eager to MOVE!

YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! although the rent will almost be double of whatever I"m paying now..but its the CONVENIENCE!!!!!!! YAYY!!!! Happy happy happy!

Just random

Happy today cause it seems that i've passed 2 ordinary days without anything major happening. Just seems really really good. Blogging from my mobile again and think this is such a useful tool. However can only blog with a picture. Dont know how to just blog text with the phone. Getting old signs. Ha ha.

Trying something out.

Just trying to try to blog this picture and see what happens.

Update: this post was sent through my mobile phone for blogging purposes, however i can't seem to only blog post.. it seems to only accept photos.. oh well, more photos, i guess. *laughs*

Currently going through...

a series of unfortunate events:

1. failed FIN
2. client gave me really bad feedback (whole office politics)
3. came out feeling worse than my original FIN exam during my supp
4. failed MAA EP
5. knocked the wall whilst going out of my carpark.
6. hit my neighbour's car whilst going out

are there any chances that this drama will overturn and give me a :
- pass for my FIN SUPP?
- pass for my MAA exam?

*sigh*..... i'm a little bemused with myself ..... this ALL happened within the past couple of months.... oCT and nov....really hope this would end soon.....

Upset..is my dress for today..

Just got known in work that I'm not really good @ my work....

Maybe its about time for a change. *laughs*;

will update more next week.

Another day again

Its yet another day again.....

studies week commencement from sunday onwards.....

*laughs*....

Getting used to life..

Yes, I'm a little settled over life right now... still got heaps of obstacles to go through right now...but i believe if i have faith, i can get through it.

life's a bit of a b*t*ch right now.... never in my life expected myself to work on my birthday for a straight 15 hours..from 8am-1am, no cutting of cake, no blowing of candles on that day.... perhaps it's a sign that i'm getting old, no point in celebration, don't really take it into consideration any more.... its also a sign that perhaps i'm not that important after all.

met my friend over the weekend...she's just talking about wedding wedding wedding consistently... nvermind her for doing that as she's just got back from her wedding.. makes me wonder on hitting the 30 mark... no career, no creation of family... what exactly did i do for the last 30 years... although i think all i am doing now is baby steps to my future goal..but i can't really see that happening though.. so.... that is why a little bit unsettled still..cause not too sure what exactly do i want in life... haha... its a cross road every single bit of it..just hv to trust and rely.

failed my exam..this i did... i mean..sort of expected it already..so i've got over it..but still have to mention it here..to remind me not to be arrogant and accept that i've failed...at least i think i've took it a hell of a better than i failed corp fin....so its alright...maybe i just didnt make the mark...... but oh well... will see.....

alright..updates are done..back to books....

i just want to CRY right now....

angry with my new baby!........

worried for my results.......

disapointed at how things turn out...

maybe its also due to that time of the month......

geez..this is fairly a depressing blog...

*laughs* was reading through my entries and realised that my entries are fairly depressing though..due to it being study week and exam period etc..should start lightening my life (i.e. is that how to spell lightening?)?? geez... my brain cells are indeed getting smaller..haha

but anyway..updates:

a. life is getting a bit better..with better work hours and better responsibilities, i think..at least i dun feel really useless..i guess..

b. For r/s...its still going alright..but the thing about having a long distance r/s (not exactly long distance, but still its not in the same state)is that there must be a lot of trust and a lot of effort..... and so far....its pretty constant..no increase, no decrease...and that may / may not be a good thing in the long run.

Alrighty..will be gg to talk to my mum..update soon!

worried.....

today i got to know about something very shocking.....

a couple that i knew..who were about half a decade (5 years)together..suddenly are not together anymore...its shocking cause its not about both the individuals..in fact, its about something more..its about external circumstances that prevent them from being together....something which they cannot control..

although i'm not a fan of love @ first sight , meet 3 months-> get engaged after 6 mths -> married after 1 year...(which i also know a couple of examples from), i also really do not believe in long term love..i think anything more than 3-4 years is living on the edge to be broken up if there's no more advancing from there...

....what shall i do???

Are we heading back to ancient times??

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24222611-401,00.html

What a news to start the day!!!

headline reads : Drug-smuggling pigeon thrown behind bars ( 22 Aug 2008)

..its pretty amazing isn't it?

and we thought that its only ancient ancestors that could "fei ge chuan shu"... haha..

i get really productive in my blogging

when its study time...and yes..its that time again..

this time... i'm really hopeless in studying

the whole weekend, having a huge massive sorethroat..thought mon-> wed its alright and then in the evenings will cough like shit..so... headed to the docs today.....

he says its a form of bacteria infection...what the???

yes..and i've got 20 tablets to go for antibiotics...haha...

maybe i'm too drugged...

i need company.......*laughs*...

What if????

What if???

- I'm still in Singapore?
- I haven't done uni?
- I've done uni in Sg part time?
- I'm not living away by myself?
- I'm not working in my career now?
- I'm still working as my Technical Consultant?

Would i be happier??????? yes....and hugely NO.........

*sigh*... all the anguish, all the fear, all the stress, all the hatred, all the disappointments, all the laughter, all the tears.....

I'm still not too sure......

The only reason why I'm writing this post is:

I can't understand what's the issue with picking up the phone to someone dear to see if she's alright....

Many a time i wished that i can just pack up and head back..would i be happier?? maybe yes...personally with family around, etc....

but hugely no in the sense of career and opportunities... i really wished my family was here..have a sense of belonging to friends too....

i know u're busy..i know u're stressed... i know u're overworked... would it be better if i had not bothered u in the first place?????

*i know the bf will be very disappointed to see this*..... and we'd probably argue over this again.....but oh well... if it happens, it happens...

am i feeling alone or am i really alone?

Really felt that today. ,...

Perhaps its the stress... perhaps its the disappointment..perhaps its the anger.. its all negative emotions mixed into one..been a while since I've ever tugged my head into my favourite pillow, and let my tears flow..out of anger, out of stress, whatever you name it which is negative i feel ..... maybe its just depression.....

i don't know..and it hurts..because suddenly i realise that i cannot find a single positive thing to be happy about..its like meeting the dementors in harry potter where they have sucked all the happiness out of you and then make u lifeless ported over to reality.

this is my venting ground.. perhaps i feel comfort that i know not a lot of people actually know that i can update this blog and it has probably been deserted...i feel tired, i feel despondent..

like the bf.... we're not going to be together for a while... and maybe that's why? there's no one here to pamper me, no one here to say "how are you gen? are you alright? can i bring you out? " no one here to say "here is my shoulder if you need a bit of comfort"... yes, i do know that HE is always there if i needed consolation... HE is always near me...HE is always everywere.... i just need to cry... i just need to feel like a kid again...i just need to feel wanted...

maybe its just the time of the month......

heading off to seak comfort in my pillows....

WHAT THE?

how would ANYONE think of such a scheme??? OMG! beter stay @ home rather than work


http://www.news.com.au/business/story/0,23636,23650623-462,00.html

Summary:
Paid parental leave proposal would slug all workersBy Sue Dunlevy
May 06, 2008 01:01am

Inquiry examines maternity leave proposals
One option will levy workers and employers
Position left vacant would be subsidised

What it means:

- Having children will entitle you to more benefits at the expense of single workers or workers would would not want to have kids in the aid of bearing the costs.
- Apparently not.

i want WiiFIT!!!!!!!

http://www.news.com.au/technology/story/0,25642,23647600-5014117,00.html

Unproductive in study

you know u're really old when u can't simply look at a book read it and absorb it..one paragraph takes me 10 x the speed to read it and i can't absorb it in. that's when i know 'm in real trouble.

kind of miss these right now.....









However, if i really were to go back.. i'd prob be $1000 poorer due to the hike in air prices and that i really need to start looking for places to stay in December 2008, probably moving down to the city.

Who knows, maybe i might be like this again:



instead of a big giant... as what i am right now.. *laughs*

I give up

- everything i say seems to be not important
- everything i do seems to be nonsensical
- everything i fail to do is simple things

most importantly,

you DON"T EVEN understand what i'm saying.

moral of the story: what's the point of being with you when you don't want to even listen to what i'm saying?

on Study leave ...yet again

Really productive this weekend on sleep i guess, as a result of the waking up @ 5.30am every morning and coming home @ 10pm every nite due to work and dinner and movie appointments. *laughs* yes yes.. thinking of pulling an allnighter tonight to at least get half of the first chpt done.

living here in brissy all by myself with my housemate for the last 4 mths makes me miss the times which i was staying with someone close even more. I'm not complaining of my housemate cause she's a gem, paying her rents on time and everything, however when i see mates who are staying together, such as my new colleage Jeremiah + gf (who is a darl), han +jess (she's perfect), ww + chillipadi (very sacrificial hubby), and many more..i get to appreciate the times which I was staying with him, the many times which he was there for me (esp. the picking me to/fro work, changing of light bulbs, cleaning up, having a shoulder to cry on when things don't go well, hugging @ the end of the day to tell me someone cares, etc)-> all of which I tend to take for granted a little. ....

but oh well, life is just so unexpected and just got to make the most out of it.still loving what i do here..and i think that's more impt, although like every girl pursues, an assurance token however that just comes with time doesn't it?

on an ending note, ching + wk is getting married! happy for them to finally be together.. i think..perhaps Cat and myself had a little involvement with the match making??? *laughs*

life is so unpredictable....

1 good news and 1 really unfortunate news..with different pple : X and Y

X is getting married end of the year: i.e. Dec 08... really should make a trip back cause i really miss home, however:
1. firm shut down period doesn't occur then,
2. have to look for a place to shift to, cause moving nearer to the city, in fact, smacked right in the middle of the city.
3. wp coming over to help me shift.
4. saving $$ on air tix (like $1.5k?)

that's the good news..the bad news is that 2 days ago, heard that Y was quite a few wks pregnant with child, felt soooo delighted for her, knew she always wanted one.. however just yesterday, the almighty decided to take it away from her, prob a bit pity.... i really love this couple, the best couple so far that i know.... everything is within settlement, and a church wedding..love them to bits...

end of the day: cannot take things for granted, cause u never know what can hit you...

just one whine to complete this post: i still haven't got my car yet..the repair shop have more repairs to do on my repairs... *laughs*..oh well.. will see what'st he outcome... *faintz*

My day today

Please someone, remind me... FACEBOOK is sooooooo ADDICTIVE!!!!! thought i had it under my belt like friendster, but no..i was there from 8am-3pm(only had to leave because i had to take the bus to church)but other than that, came home, and still on facebook..that fluff book thing is really superb ADDICTIVE!!!!!!

anyway, should try not to be on it too much though.. haha.. should ban myself from typing in www.facebook.com, after this... *laughs*

Oh well, thinking that blogging may be a better activity than facebook, even though 3/4 of my day was spent doing the former, at least i had 3 hours for "church " activity, meaning taking public transport to church, attending church and then coming back via public transport... all because my car was sent somewhere else for repair.. i miss it sooo much!!!!!!

*laughs* i wonder why... missing everything today...my family, my friends (back in sg), etc etc etc... haha... that includes my car...haha..not the speeding & redlight camera tix though..haha.

happiness is what you strive to achieve

*happy but exhausted*..

couzzy just came to Brisbane for a work trip and main aim is just to see me. . apart from being touched, she has basically pampered me heaps by : cooking for me, cleaning my kitchen for me, and going shopping with me, went to eagles' pier, etc... didnt' bring my camera, so no pictures, but then its really good to get another perspective on what I'm doing now.. basically that i should shift to the city..this is effectively what i'm paying now:

Rent - $340/wk (assuming after my housemate leaves and no support)
Transport - $16/wk (and it will be $32/wk assuming no concession)
Carpark - $50/wk (assuming the occasional driving into city and parking for personal)Time spent - $270/wk (assuming 1.5 hours extra spent/day/trip @ employment 18/hr )

Total - $676/wk (even if i take off my housemate's payment of rent, it will still be more than whatever amount that i would spend in the city paying for a one bedroom apartment, catching up on my sleep, as well as prob heading to the gym...

*laughs*..that's not even including the utilities bill and the car petrol costs... haha..

And anyway... rego and insurance is due. -> total $1.3k.. not complaining cause I think i may have benefitted much from the use of the car, apart from the occasional speeding and red-light camera fine.. *faintz*...

Realising that my blog hasn't got much pictures..so... there we go.... I miss you..very very much...



thank god you're coming over to Brisbane -> 29 APR 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Having different thoughts on my mind.

Maybe I'm being paranoid / over sensitive...

But there seems to be a favouritism between me and colleague X... and maybe a little on colleague Y.. even though I think maybe cause the person has done more work and therefore have more chances of interaction... perhaps its just racism and favouritism..maybe even I am guilty of such charges, when i prefer one person's work over the other, back @ home. Over here, can't judge much cause don't give much coaching though... sigh..

Fortunately not many people know of this blog.. till date, i think none of my colleagues actually know this space exists, and i think that isn't such a bad thing where i could rant my thoughts, yet again..being alone here...

Anyway, i think these few days, not that I intentionally think about it and I'm not too sure if i should rant it out here... it might cause pressure.. (i dont' know..but if you are reading it..its just prob best to ignore this post..or maybe i should just mark it as private. let me find the damn option.. *laughs*

It comes to a stage now that i think i may be ready for the next stage in life..whether its settling down / fidning a good home..cause afterall, girls' attractiveness is akin to fruits...pretty and fresh when young, .... tend to get neglected when aged....

oh well.. perhaps should rant till there..cause else if something happened due to the post on this blog, i bear no responsibility.. *lol* perhaps just because i'm lonely.... haha..now u realise that lonely pple can get up to lots if they want, just because they are lonely... *laughs*

"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong!"

If there is a classification for these couple of days, the above will tell all that happen these couple of days.... its really ridiculous...maybe cause i'm too tired as well..... oh well...


started @ yesterday 10am ->
Locked myself out of my own bedroom!!!!!! can you imagine?? not my house, but my own bed room... didn't even realised there was a lock until i had to ask the locksmith to unlock before i know how to lock the bedroom.... lesson learnt with a price of $88.

then today....

kind of pissed with what happened today actually with work..but i guess its just different standards...won the horse's ass awards AGAIN.... how embarrasing!!!!!!

came home @ 6.30pm..... trying to catch a file which was going to drop...one of the blinds detached itself...so i had to put it up.... its a one in a millionth time that it could happen....

thinking that its all over, split the hot water which i was drinking, on the table.....

i wonder if i should go to sleep and hope that everything will be bright and fresh tmr...sigh... its been a long day...

maybe i'm just missing attention and love... i should really think about settling down soon... hopefully someone will just tie me down..haha...

a Hectic week yet again!

i CAN'T imagine how time flies by so fast without me even batting an eyelid!

Anyway, I've really got to finish all my tutorials by the end of this weekend, else I'll be really left behind and will have to rush next week, terribly, although I've already presented though, so it should all be good.

Have been missing someone of late. Didn't think i would miss him THAT often.... prob missing his comforting silences and words of consolation. more likely, missing his constant presence in my life.

Does that mean, am i falling for him ? ?? or am i just lonely? ? ?

*laughs*..been quite busy of late, just some random thought that came to my mind though. alrighty..back to books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy

Just realised that CH and WK are perhaps finalizing to tie the knot at the end of this year..so its really good..one more couple down...a pity that i've started my career so late though, else it'll be good for females my age to start something now.

you know..its prob the time where you start to think if you are really goign on the right track..and what you can do to make your life a little better..perhaps living with someone closer, would be heaps better i think.... at least at the end of the day, u know that someone would never forsake you....

my true thoughts..have i matured yet? am i willing to commit myself?? haha.... maybe....maybe...maybe...

*happy and rested*

Just going to end my big Holiday from Fri - Mon.... NICE NICE!!!!!!!

but anyway, it wasn't all fun and games...as i was rushing off to finish one assignment *laughs*.. finally done..so its all good now...

hopefully i'll keep blogging till at least end of this yr to keep inform of my happenings. haha..

currently not much ....*laughs*..thus i end my post.

An old and dusty site

Yes... it has finally come the time to re-live this blog again.

Its been 6 months since I've every written in here..and god knows when the last visiter was, prob DT to drum the bday tune.*laughs*

Oh well, so much have happen here, yet I feel a little bit perplexed on what I've been feeling for 6 months.

BIG question i ask myself:


IF I WERE TO DIE RIGHT NOW, AM I HAPPY WITH MY LIFE

The answer is Yes as per this moment cause given a choice, I don't think i can live any other way and be as fulfilled right now.

I gave myself a little list of resolutions at the beginning of the year. Surprise surprise! It actually didn't include losing weight, cause that's a hopeless resolution which I will never get to fulfil. Anyway, here are some:

- Get better in the job.
- Get myself acknowledged in my career.
- Pass my studies ...just PASS..not worried for meriting..just not NOT passing!
- Find my Mr Right (not young anymore - "whatever")
- Find myself (I find it REALLY HARD to say maybe I can never finish finding this one... its a never ending vicious cycle- think losing weight). haha....

There.. I sat down after a while..and think..its still too early to say... being only Mar, prob will write in May or something though..if it will work out.

*laughs*... think this will really be just my journal..cause i think..no one actually expects me to blog anymore...... *laughs*..oh well...

and anyway, if you are reading this, HAPPY EASTER... prob i'm just wishing myself too!!!!!haha...