Are we heading back to ancient times??

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24222611-401,00.html

What a news to start the day!!!

headline reads : Drug-smuggling pigeon thrown behind bars ( 22 Aug 2008)

..its pretty amazing isn't it?

and we thought that its only ancient ancestors that could "fei ge chuan shu"... haha..

i get really productive in my blogging

when its study time...and yes..its that time again..

this time... i'm really hopeless in studying

the whole weekend, having a huge massive sorethroat..thought mon-> wed its alright and then in the evenings will cough like shit..so... headed to the docs today.....

he says its a form of bacteria infection...what the???

yes..and i've got 20 tablets to go for antibiotics...haha...

maybe i'm too drugged...

i need company.......*laughs*...

What if????

What if???

- I'm still in Singapore?
- I haven't done uni?
- I've done uni in Sg part time?
- I'm not living away by myself?
- I'm not working in my career now?
- I'm still working as my Technical Consultant?

Would i be happier??????? yes....and hugely NO.........

*sigh*... all the anguish, all the fear, all the stress, all the hatred, all the disappointments, all the laughter, all the tears.....

I'm still not too sure......

The only reason why I'm writing this post is:

I can't understand what's the issue with picking up the phone to someone dear to see if she's alright....

Many a time i wished that i can just pack up and head back..would i be happier?? maybe yes...personally with family around, etc....

but hugely no in the sense of career and opportunities... i really wished my family was here..have a sense of belonging to friends too....

i know u're busy..i know u're stressed... i know u're overworked... would it be better if i had not bothered u in the first place?????

*i know the bf will be very disappointed to see this*..... and we'd probably argue over this again.....but oh well... if it happens, it happens...

am i feeling alone or am i really alone?

Really felt that today. ,...

Perhaps its the stress... perhaps its the disappointment..perhaps its the anger.. its all negative emotions mixed into one..been a while since I've ever tugged my head into my favourite pillow, and let my tears flow..out of anger, out of stress, whatever you name it which is negative i feel ..... maybe its just depression.....

i don't know..and it hurts..because suddenly i realise that i cannot find a single positive thing to be happy about..its like meeting the dementors in harry potter where they have sucked all the happiness out of you and then make u lifeless ported over to reality.

this is my venting ground.. perhaps i feel comfort that i know not a lot of people actually know that i can update this blog and it has probably been deserted...i feel tired, i feel despondent..

like the bf.... we're not going to be together for a while... and maybe that's why? there's no one here to pamper me, no one here to say "how are you gen? are you alright? can i bring you out? " no one here to say "here is my shoulder if you need a bit of comfort"... yes, i do know that HE is always there if i needed consolation... HE is always near me...HE is always everywere.... i just need to cry... i just need to feel like a kid again...i just need to feel wanted...

maybe its just the time of the month......

heading off to seak comfort in my pillows....