am i feeling alone or am i really alone?

Really felt that today. ,...

Perhaps its the stress... perhaps its the disappointment..perhaps its the anger.. its all negative emotions mixed into one..been a while since I've ever tugged my head into my favourite pillow, and let my tears flow..out of anger, out of stress, whatever you name it which is negative i feel ..... maybe its just depression.....

i don't know..and it hurts..because suddenly i realise that i cannot find a single positive thing to be happy about..its like meeting the dementors in harry potter where they have sucked all the happiness out of you and then make u lifeless ported over to reality.

this is my venting ground.. perhaps i feel comfort that i know not a lot of people actually know that i can update this blog and it has probably been deserted...i feel tired, i feel despondent..

like the bf.... we're not going to be together for a while... and maybe that's why? there's no one here to pamper me, no one here to say "how are you gen? are you alright? can i bring you out? " no one here to say "here is my shoulder if you need a bit of comfort"... yes, i do know that HE is always there if i needed consolation... HE is always near me...HE is always everywere.... i just need to cry... i just need to feel like a kid again...i just need to feel wanted...

maybe its just the time of the month......

heading off to seak comfort in my pillows....